Not a Need

Maybe this topic is too taboo for some "church folk" – but it’s something I’ve been learning over the past year and it’s a common conversation with my male friends. In fact, this subject is so important to some that it's stealing their only chance for true, lasting joy. I'm speaking to myself about the world's great lie that “sex is a need.”

I don’t care what Maslow, your body or the world tells you: sex is not any more of a need than chocolate. Air is a need, food and water are needs… sex is not. Don’t believe me? I can prove it. If you go your entire life without any sexual activity, will you die? The answer to that question makes for a closed case on the “need” theory.

Sex is, however, a desire. A healthy, God-given desire that is not supposed to be a source of shame – it’s supposed to be a gift to be enjoyed in the safety, trust and intimacy of marriage (God was not shy of speaking about this, see Song of Songs). But, to paraphrase Joshua Harris in Not Even A Hint, our society (i.e. you and I) has taken the “mouse-size” God given sex drive and perverted it to an oversized circus elephant. An elephant that looms in an already crowded room – and to make matters worse, everyone acts as if its not even there.

Father, help return my desire for intimacy back to You alone. Only You can meet my needs – and You can meet them all! Thank you for the healthy desires you have placed in me – I pray that they may only contribute to Your greater glory.