Why I didn’t want to be a Christian

There was a time in my life that I didn’t want to be a Christian. In fact, I hated most Christians. My feelings aligned most closely with Mahatma Gandhi when he said, “Jesus I like – it’s his followers I can’t stand.” It wasn’t the teachings or even the person of Jesus I didn’t like (they were rather attractive) – it was the ones who claimed to love Him. It was the ones who called themselves Christians, went to church, huddled together, sneered at those ‘beyond the pale’ and became the coolest and most exclusive kids in school. Their lives told a different story than their mouths -- and Christ had a name for them: actors. However, to a non-believer, they were the only Jesus I knew. To make matters more confusing, my non-Christian friends and drinking buddies seemed to care more about me than any of them…

That is, until I came to know some authentic Christians. Christians who had been raised outside the rampant ‘cultural Christianity’ that dominates the bible belt. I met men and women who had literally laid down their lives, their worldly advantages and comforts for the treasure of heaven. It wasn’t their logic or doctrine that drew me to Christ – it was their love. It wasn't their debating skill -- it was their love that that silenced my arguments against Christianity. When I saw the way they lived their lives apart from the world, I couldn’t help but wonder why.

When I read about men like Stephen, Paul, Peter and all the disciples who were killed because they preached the death and resurrection – even the skeptic in me could not deny the Truth. God had put on skin, taught, healed, lived a sinless life, struggled, died as a perfect sacrifice on the cross and was resurrected on the third day. No group of men would go to their death, one-by-one, for a lie… they died because they knew and loved their Lord. And I wanted it… bad.

Now I am one who claims Christ. Everyday I must decide what I want to tell others about Christ through my life – do I want to be like those I grew up hating or those who beamed with authenticity. What kind of Christian are you? Jesus said that everyday we must die to ourselves and carry our cross to be his disciple. And carrying a cross can be inconvenient – it means we are to love the unlovable, give favor to those who can not repay us and pray for those who want to hurt us. It means we have to consider others more important than ourselves. And yes, you must associate with non-Christians.

Lord, you are the only judge -- help me to be free from judgment. Help me to love unselfishly, to preach the gospel at all times through my life and to focus on you only for approval. Help me to demonstrate your glory by simple obedience to your commands. Amen.