In His Hands

I haven’t written anything for over three weeks – and it was two weeks before that. It’s not because I’m lazy – or tired of writing. I’ve wanted to write. I’ve thought about writing almost every day. I’m really just trying to be honest. I write what I learn – and lately, God hasn’t taught me anything. No theology, no discipline, no lessons. I can’t think of one significant idea worth mentioning. I’m not even sure if anyone reads this anymore.

Here’s what has been happening: I’ve been struggling, and God has strengthened me. I’ve been hurting, and God has encouraged me. I’ve been uncomfortable, and God has held me in His warm hands.

When I needed comfort, He didn’t bring instruction – He came as a friend comforting a friend. I can’t explain it – I just can’t help but think about Jesus without getting choked up. Everyday for the past month I’ve gotten up knowing that I needed Him. Every moment has made that need a conscious thought. I need Him like air. And it’s a new experience for me.

I explained this to my granddad and he helped me see that God would not be giving me this comfort unless I was where He wanted me to be. Not that he always gives comfort to those in His will – but you can know you’re in His will when things outside of Him seem beyond your strength and He provides.

The blessing came when I stopped asking for help and starting saying “Lord, your will be done.” I stopped praying that God take away my difficulty and instead, as my pastor stated tonight, that He would “strengthen my back.”

Lord, thank you for helping. Strengthen my back. Blessed be your Name.